malta top six lists


I am in Cyprus now, but in an effort to encapsulate the Malta experience I’ve been thinking about the best and the worst that tiny island nation has to offer – ergo, my top six lists.

Top six Malta disappointments

1. Lydia could not get her morning hot cakes, as McDonalds does not serve breakfast, even though they are open at 7:00am.  The McCafe is about to take over the world.

2. Divorce is illegal.

3. As of July, the unique old-style busses will be replaced with modern utilitarian busses and the bus fare will double.

4. All Neolithic sites are explained in terms of religion and are called some variation of “temple.” This seems a bit short-sighted to me.  Why must we always assume everything has to have some sort of religious significance?  Perhaps the entrances were aligned with the summer sun because the natural light was needed to play the Neolithic equivalent of scrabble.

5. Unbeknownst to us, we were about a half hour too early to see the full protests in front of the Libyan embassy, although we did catch a smattering of activity.

6. Even though we saw the reliquary in St. John’s Co-Cathedral [don’t ask], we did not get to see the real forearm of John the Baptist.

 Top six Malta plusses!

1. The espresso is pretty damn good.  Even at the McCafe.

2. Divorce is illegal, and the issue is being discussed on the national level in order to facilitate a soon-to-be national referendum.  Therefore I got to read all of the ridiculous reasoning in the local papers as to why it should remain illegal, such as it is in the common good, that divorce could change the meaning of marriage to a temporary state of being, and by allowing divorce Malta would degenerate into a Las Vegas-style nation of divorce.  I, for one, would like to see a Maltese Elvis chapel next door to the 99 Euro drive-through divorce shop. 

3. The country is so small it is easy to get anywhere, and all for less than 50 cents.  There is a pizza place in Paceville near the capital city of Valetta that advertises it will deliver anywhere in Malta.

4. The country is so small that you always have a good chance of seeing the Prime Minister, or even have a “coffee” with a member of the local government. 😉

5. The local pastry, the Pastizzi, is amazing.  Especially the one filled with peas.

6. I got to meet some fantastic Australian blokes and got to hang out with some Libyan pilots.